Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time along time ago I was a straight women as straight as they came, yeah i wasn't one of 'those' who believe they was born gay .... or so I thought.  Strictly dickly was my motto

Then once upon a time I was a Bi-Sexual Women, indulging in both men & women. One man in particular I even married. My ex husband is also the father of my Son.  See I tried being "straight" off & on @ times. Always for others never for myself, for my mother, my family, HIM, Jehovah, Society.  My very 1st sexual experience was when I was a child, merely 8 yrs old & I had a "friend" (a kissing cousin if u like) who was a "bad seed" (according to my mother & others) she just was wordly, fresh, to grown for her age, and I was (don't laugh) a "good girl". Soooo where was I?,...ok right 8, house, she asked me if i wanted to play house, me naive sure, wait, who knows if she had this thing planned all along, i don't & we never discussed it. I was a tomb boy but was still pretty n pink so she was the daddi & i was of course the mommy, (later on we took turns) cuz i wasn't happy with being the "mommy" all the time lol (just like now)..   At first we would play while everybody was up you know how kids play. Then it came time for bed, hmmm. So once again me naive we 'gonna sleep', you know just in the same bed, but next thing I notice she's kissing on me. I started getting breast when I was 8 so i had sooome, she had alot more than me, just cuz she was bigger than I was all around, no big age difference maybe a few months. So we kissed @ first it didn't feel right but then the grinding started & the sucking, next thing hands were under my shirt & mine under hers kissing & sucking on our itty bitty titties. The next day I remember feeling horrible....guilty. Why? Well because I had been raised in a very strict Christian religion & this was considered "Taboo" Def a NONO.
The next time we saw each other it happened again & continued on that way for 4 yrs. I would get excited knowing she was spending the wknd, couldn't wait for bed time so we could play the 'Adult House' we know longer played 'reg house' during the day like normal kids. We would just try& get through the day as quick as possible as 'normal kids' so that we could do 'un-normal' thing. When I think about it now I remember my pussy getting or being wet, idk if I had orgasm or anything but i know it felt HELLA GOOD!! *shrugs* Me & she was doing the nasty till I met my 1st boyfriend & 1st love when I was 13 & once I was hooked on him I felt nasty doing the 'do' with her. I remember she & I was @ my grandmothers house & she reached to touch me & tried to kiss me & I told her I didn't do that stuff anymore & that was nasty &  we shouldn't of been doing it anyway, we should've never did  it in the 1st place,*sigh....Malicious & insensitive, I know right?...  but i didn't know.... @ the time I didn't. I was absolutely clueless.
 Last I heard of her she has 8 kids & is doing time in prison.  I was with my 1st love for 7yrs, a dude. After him or during did I go back to women??..nope, i didn't, I dated & explored & traveled. Finding me along the way....well some or part of me :-). Using men along the way, see I learned very quickly I may add. Men were mere toys to be played with. ( I was a psyche major, what can i say) Especially seeing how easy they made it for me, lol *smh*. So it was my ex husband, who while we was dating he had proposed an open relationship, ok cool never tried that before #letsdoit.  I mean I just came out of a 7yr relationship what did i wanna hop back into another so soon for? I'm a sagittarius by the way we are suppose to the be the 'bachelors' or 'bachelorette's' of the zodiac. WHAAAT EVER!! Ok so open relationship. He told me he seen gay tendencies....WHAT?! ok whatever & that he knew i wanted to explore & experiment, which idk if i did or didn't but he sure did put the idea in my head. Well I did just want he asked of me ...explored & once I did that ALL over again I was hooked I had no use for him anymore, he wasn't much of a lover anyway. Yeah i taught him everything he know's lol.
 So I 1st adult sexual experience with a women I will never forget, it was the 1st time I had had an ORGASM, it was if my eyes were open BY EUREKA I COULD SEE, MY EYES WERE WIDE OPEN NOW, I HAD SEEN THE LIGHT!. Why had it taken me soo long to see, feel, my 'GAYNESS'. idk I think i felt it when I was young but I wasn't yet strong enough to stand up for or even sure of what i was feeling, of course I never expressed it & if i did it would of just been stifled.
 My mother told me when I was 2 yrs old I had asked her if I could have bby's without the daddy?, told her I just wanted children. hmmm, my mom said that you needed a man to have bby's grow inside of you but there are other ways, adoption, etc so on & so forth.  She never seen or took this as a hint, but i did. I say all this to say you never know what twist & turns your life may take, you just never know what you may or may not do, STOP HATING ON OTHERS just because of there sexual orientation, race, religion, his tory/her story if you pass judgement pass it with reason & understanding (because lets be real everyone judges) NEVER SAY NEVER,  because you will eat your words....believe me...I did.